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FUNKbrs
Blood just gushing out the motherfucker, and here I am with an electrical cord trying to tie off the damn artery. You ever be laying by the side of the road covered in another man's blood talking to the cops and your girlfriend breaks up with you? I have.

FUNK brs @FUNKbrs

Age 42, Male

Misery Merchant

Memphis

Joined on 10/28/00

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iu_1178851_93729.webp


I'm uh...


I'm back.


Announcing for deathmatch again.


It's been what, like 12 years?


So this guy, Mike Roach, made a deathmatch wrestling themed band called Mudshow.


So I contact the guy, and I'm like "So, you're into deathmatch... you ever met Tony Myers? He used to be the big deathmatch guy in around here."


So Mike looks up Tony, goes on a roadtrip to see him wrestle deathmatch.


But what I didn't know is Tony's portfolio is "being the guy who can get wrestling gigs in Memphis and knows Lawler"


So Tony sees this as an opportunity to do more mixed Deathmatch/Metal shows, like the old SnV league.


And Mike is ALL FOR THAT SHIT.


So now I'm the guy who got Mike on the inside of deathmatch, for which Mike is extremely grateful.


So he books me to ring announce, a thing I haven't done in forever.


I just got a dental crown put in, and I'm in the process of my yearly descent into madness. Already started having bad nightmares and stomach problems, and the anniversary date is still like 6 weeks away.


Mentally, I am ILL.


And now I'm gonna announce for dudes who carve their foreheads open with light tubes.


My life is surreal as shit and doesn't make any sense. I am not currently being treated for my severe dissociative PTSD. I have a really, really large pile of both [criminal content redacted].


Its never going to make any sense, is it? None of these things should exist, and yet somehow not only do they exist, but they are major parts of my life that even decades cannot erase.


Album's good though. Check it out.


https://youtu.be/dicDUGSJCh4?si=4hZn5Wgl-5Fg6Z3D

EDIT: iu_1179255_93729.webp


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